Pat Hanavan

Pat Hanavan is my neighbor and good friend and I've written about him before.

Let me remind you.

Lydia and Pat

He and his wife Lydia, who is dear as the day is long, lost their son Patrick back in 2015. Patrick had been battling depression and that's pretty much all I knew. I went to the funeral and have been hugging them, physically and mentally, ever since.

Turns out Patrick passed by his own hand and I couldn't imagine what dealing with that is like. You read about that, you hear about that, but imagine it happening to you.

Tough is a good word. So is tragic.

Let me just say that when something awful happens you think you're the only one that is going through something like that. I'm here to tell you you can't see in people's hearts and minds. If you could, you'd see everyone is dealing with something.

Doesn't make it any easier to deal with, just easier to understand.

Patrick

Back to Pat. When something like that happens to you what do you do? Well, he decided to try and help others who have been down that rabbit hole.

He decided to write a book.

And a good one it is.

The first sentence is a simple one 'We are all on this journey called life, but many of us struggle with what appears to be the simple things.' Amen to that. It tells the story of Patrick. Of being his father and the before, during, and after.

Pat writes about the ups and downs of Patrick and there were ups. Surfing with friends, fishing, and walking in nature are a couple of them. He also writes about the downs. Mood swings, depression, self medication. He writes about things he calls quirky-Patrick would never wear shirts with advertising on them. How he would lose his wallet on a regular basis. How he would break or lose his glasses, also on a regular basis. But you never think it's a precursor to the unimaginable.

The old saying is that hindsight is 20/20. True that.

There is a sense of 'how'd did I miss that?' in the writing. Most people who go through what Pat did have similar feelings. It's very helpful to read on the page what tumbles through your thoughts.

Christine and Patrick from 2004.

His daughter, Patrick's sister Christine, is also in the book and one passage where she half dreams about her brother after he's gone is especially poignant.

Now the after.

Pat writes about finding his son, about calling 911, about telling Lydia and Christine; about the devastation he felt. One can only imagine. His faith, their faith, helped him immensely. He talks about kind of sleep walking through the funeral, the aftermath of Patrick's death, and also how hard it is when there is a void in your life. Again, one can only imagine.

Now the helping.

Pat writes about how psychiatry helped him and his wife Lydia and how it can help you as well. And let's not forget how it might turn a light on in someone's mind who might be contemplating the unthinkable. How sharing his experience with Patrick might help a person who needs to hear about it happening to somebody else.

In a world where there is no help sometimes you find yourself alone in a dark room with only a glass of wine and your thoughts. And your spouse pleading with you to finally come to bed. This book will go a long way to help insure that a person has options, that a person knows there is a helping hand.

Pat's last words...I hope this makes a difference.

Pat, you have.

An epilogue.

I substitute teach and look at the magnet I found on a teacher's desk.

Coincidence?

You be the judge.


Mind Crisis is available from Amazon:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/1686085958/ref=cm_sw_em_r_mt_





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