I’m a caregiver.
It’s not something I
ever thought I would be. I don’t even think I had heard that term before I
became one. My husband, Mark, suffered a terrible stroke and in an instant OUR
lives changed forever. The strong man I married couldn’t walk, couldn’t talk
and couldn’t take care of his family like he had anymore. I had to become the
caregiver.
No choice.
But how we deal with
what we’re given IS a choice.
My advice for
caregivers:
- Don’t
ever, ever give up. Rehabilitation can be long and hard on everyone but it does
work.
- Don’t
listen to naysayers and listen to what the doctors say with a bit of a grain of
salt. I was told what functionality Mark had back by six months would be it,
and at five and a half months, I was frantic. He still continues to get better
and better. I was also told he would never get his ‘old’ voice back. He’s 99%
there!
- Celebrate
small accomplishments. The first time my husband walked just half a hallway I
carried on like we had just won the lottery. We still have on tape the day he
got rid of his walker. And the first time he drove (just to the kids’
playground) brought tears of joy.
- Take
time for you. I had to drive Mark to rehab every day, so I found a gym close by
with childcare. We both were rehabbing at the same time. It was one of the best
things I could do for ME.
- Keep
what you can the same. This was so important, especially for our children. Mark
had his stroke in November. I still had Thanksgiving at our house (and then
took a plate to him). Christmas was as big and bright as always.
- Cry. It’s a great release. Cry alone, cry with friends. Then buckle up. This will not defeat or define you.
- Pray.
Someone is listening!
- And know
you are not alone. Reach out to other caregivers. Reach out to me!
Mark’s
website is markmcewen.com. Click on the Contact Mark link and what you write comes to me.
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| Denise McEwen |
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