Sunday, October 13, 2019

Traveling For Business

First the airport.

Every time I go the place is packed. Doesn't matter if it's noon or six in the evening or five in the morning. The question, "Who are these people?" is a good one. Lines, lines, and more lines. I remember when you could get to the airport 20 minutes before your flight and not only would you make it but your bags would make it as well.

Not anymore.

Two hours before your flight is the recommendation and it is a good one. Let's talk about my airport for a minute. I live in Orlando and you know what's here. Kids have Mickey Mouse ears, parents have t-shirts from Disney, Universal, Sea World, you get the picture. So, packed is a good word.

I'll tell you a little secret about the Orlando airport. You can't buy gum there. They don't sell it. And because of that the floor and the carpet both don't have chewing gum on them. File that knowledge under why do I know that?

The security lines seem to go on forever. When I get to the front of one to show my ticket and license I try to look as non threatening as possible. There's a lot of smiling on this end. Next the x-ray machine where there is a whole routine that comes before it. Did I take my belt off, is my iPad out and by itself, are my shoes off, are my hands above my head; these are all going through my mind.

Then on to the gated area.

Seinfeld has a great bit on airports. He asks,"Do airports know what tuna fish sandwiches cost everywhere else in the world?" Go ahead buy something there to eat. I dare ya. You can go broke if you come there with an empty stomach. I try to be full when I go or at least have healthy snacks in my back pack I can munch on. I can spend my fifty bucks elsewhere.

Then the jet.

Can I say something? Air travel used to be fun. Used to be classy. There was an unspoken dress code, people dressed a certain way. Not anymore. Now it's like it's a Greyhound bus and you see a lot of stretch pants, backward ball caps, and tattoos. In the words of Seinfeld the show, "Not that there's anything wrong with that."

It also seems like every flight is full plus the seats are way too close together. High fives between you, on the aisle in coach, and the window seat person when the middle seat is empty.

Two and a half hours of that and you come off the plane like an accordion. And then you take a cab to the hotel.

And that my friends is a story for another time.

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